She's Too Tall!
by Cerulean Dreams
Summary: CHP 3! Eriol and Kaho are together, but society seems to be against them! EK pairing bashing. No offense to EK fans, just meant to be funny! Short plotless fic. Some ET R&R plz!
1. Nightmare

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS in anyway and never will. =/

A/N: Hi all. My friend, Aqua Blue, and I came up with the idea of this fic together, so we both get credit. oh and there's a scene in there that is from one of the episodes of the TV show "Boy Meets World," with a change of characters, of course. I don't own "Boy Meets World" in any way either, but see if you can catch it. And if you don't watch "Boy Meets World," then oh well. But it's a really good show and it's funny.

Warning: There will be Kaho/Eriol pairing bashing, and a little Kaho bashing. =] So if you're a K/E fan, do not, I repeat, DO NOT read. Unless you have a very open, I repeat, OPEN mind. I don't have anything against Kaho; it' just that she gets in the way of ET. And of course I'm a hardcore ET fan. ;] It's just humor so plz don't get mad. =]

**She's Too Tall!**

Chapter 1: nightmare

Hiiragizawa Eriol bolted up into a sitting position in bed, perspiration streaming down his flushed cheeks. Panting, he reached for his glasses sitting on the side drawer and placed them on the bridge of his nose. He reached the kitchen finding his two guardians awake with a cup of hot cocoa waiting for him.

"That dream again, Eriol-sama?" Spinel Sun inquired.

"Hai," Eriol replied drearily.

"We sensed your distress, master, and came prepared with a cup of hot cocoa for you," Akizuki Nakuru added, looking at their master with concern.

"Arigatoo gozaimasu." Sitting down, he began sipping on the cocoa.

"Would you like to talk about it? Maybe retell it so we may endeavor to analyze it for you?" Spinel suggested.

He simply replied with "sure," and began reiterating the nightmare that had haunted him for three days.

-Flashback/Dream Mode-

Eriol was wearing a white tuxedo, standing at the altar; it was Eriol Hiiragizawa and Kaho Mizuki's wedding day (GROSS, I know xP). Wedding bells were chiming while the wedding march was playing. Sakura Kinomoto, Tomoyo Daidouji, Syaoran Li, their families, Kaho's family, and Eriol's family (lets just say he has one besides his guardians) were all there. Syaoran was the best man, while Sakura was the maid of honor, both standing next to the altar, awaiting the bride's arrival. Tomoyo sat in the audience, watching with clouded eyes. But before Eriol could decipher the mist in those radiant, violet orbs, Kaho came through the door, wearing a white wedding gown and holding a bouquet. Smiling with tears of joy, Kaho began walking down the aisle.

The priest recited the words from his book, leading to the last question. "Do you, Kaho Mizuki, take Eriol Hiiragizawa to be your lawfully wedded husband, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, 'til death do you part?" He looked up at Kaho, awaiting her answer. (I don't know if it's right, but that's what I remember, so just go along with it )

Smiling that dopey smile of hers and turning to Eriol, Kaho replied, "I do."

The priest continued on. "And do you, Eriol Hiiragizawa, take Kaho Mizuki to be your lawfully wedded husband, through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do you part?"

Smiling warmly, he replied, "…I do." (Don't worry; it's just a dream! It's NOT real! There's no way in hell that I would ever let that happen in one of my fics!!)

The priest looked into the audience. Some were in tears while others wore scornful scowls. "Are there any objections to the joining of these two in holy matrimony?"

The almost-newly-weds turned to the crowd. To their dismay, everyone was standing up; all except one: Tomoyo.

Now there were tears of grief in Kaho's eyes. "W-why is everyone o-objecting?" she stuttered. "Mother?" she looked at her mother in the front row.

Pointing an accusing finger at her daughter, she shouted, "You're too tall for him!!"

"W-what?" Kaho squeaked through the tears.

"You heard what I said! You're too tall for him!! You're old enough to be his mother for heaven's sake! You're too freakin' tall for him! Call off the wedding!" she demanded with disdain.

"What are you saying? I won't call it off!"

While the mother-daughter battle waged on, Eriol was looking at the one person who wasn't against them, entranced by her. But still, he could not read her eyes. No words were spoken, only mutual silence endured with a profound expression on both faces.

Then finally, Kaho grabbed Eriol's arm, forcing him to face the priest once again.

"Go on with the ceremony. Pronounce us husband and wife," Kaho practically yelled at him.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot do that if there are that many objections. This wedding is off."

"What?! You can't do that! This is _our_ wedding, not yours! You have no right to call it off! The wedding is on!" she barked.

"I'm sorry about all this, but…have a nice day." Smiling brightly, the priest walked away, with his last sentence morbid in the beginning, and cheery in the last part. Shaking his head and still smiling, he said to himself, "Crazy kids. They never learn."

"But-but—get back here!" Kaho screamed after him. "Come back and marry us now!" But of course she had no such luck.

Then all of a sudden, a marriage license appeared in Eriol's hand—their marriage license. Just as suddenly, a huge stamp appeared out of no where and was pressed against the sheet, marking it with a big fat red word that read 'void.'

Abruptly, the entire scene was swirling. Everything was swirling around Eriol in a dreamlike way, shouting at him, scowling, looking, until finally, he woke up.

-End Flashback/Dream Mode-

"What does this all mean?" Eriol asked, looking at his creations. "Why can't I decipher this dream? I've always been able to interpret my dreams. What makes this one so special?"

"Perhaps it's beyond dreams. Maybe fate's trying to tell you something—it wouldn't be the first time, you know."

"Yes, but what?"

"Well it must have something to do with Mizuki-san, your relationship, and Daidouji-san."

"Yea, that's pretty patent, but what exactly does it mean? How are they even related? Does it mean that if Kaho and I decide to get married, it'll be ruined? This is so frustrating."

"Why don't you just rest, master? You can sit in your 'throne of evil' tomorrow and think all you want," Nakuru suggested perkily.

"I guess." He walked off into his dark bedroom, slipping under the covers. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, whispering "Daidouji-san…" unconsciously.

-x-

Sitting in a local café, Eriol waited patiently for Kaho's arrival—they were on a date. Panting and out of breath, Kaho burst into the café doors, running over to Eriol, nearly tripping on her own four inch heels. (As if she wasn't tall enough already).

"Gomen nasai, Eriol-kun," she panted.

"It's alright. A lovely waitress has been keeping me company. Are you ready to order?" Eriol sounded just fine, but the sight of those towering heels reminded him of his dream.

She cocked a shaved and penciled-in eyebrow with suspicion. "'Lovely waitress'?"

"Hai." He smiled his kawaii smile.

She put down the menu. "Were you _flirting_ with her?" There was an edge to the accusing question.

"No, of course not. You have nothing to worry about."

The waitress then walked over. "Konnichi wa, Hiiragizawa-san. Ready to take your order? Oh! This must be your date. …you didn't tell me you had a lunch date with your mother. The way you were talking, I thought it was a DATE date." (lol yes, I'm evil).

"Uh, this _is_ a DATE date," Eriol said. "This is my girlfriend, Kaho Mizuki."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Nice to meet you, Mizuki-san. It's just you look old enough to be his mother…so I assumed…anyway, what would you like?"

Kaho boiled at that, but Eriol was shocked at the words 'old enough to be his mother'. It was the same line from his dream. _Could it really have any connection? Nah, _he thought, putting it aside.

After another hour of staring from other customers, (b/c the waitress told them about their situation) they decided to go for a walk in the park.

Walking through the tranquil atmosphere of the park in the afternoon, the two saw children playing and chuckling.

"Ah, the good old days," Kaho commented.

"Yes, but those days aren't over yet," Eriol returned.

"Maybe not for you, but I would look silly playing football like them."

"Actually—" but he never got to finish his sentence, as a girl Eriol's age interrupted him.

"Ooooh. Your little brother is soooo cute, lady! Can I have his number?"

Eriol smiled amusingly while Kaho glared and retorted, "Hands off the merchandise, little girl. He's my boyfriend!"

"Eww! Never mind then. I don't like guys that date older women," she said, disgustedly. Walking away, she mumbled, "especially ones that are old enough to be your mother."

Both frowned at that—Kaho with contempt and Eriol without much emotion. But Kaho just had to comment, "I heard that you little brat!"

But the 'little brat' only turned to stick her tongue out at Kaho, then ran off with her friends. Eriol sweatdropped at the sight. "Uh, why don't we just spend the afternoon at my place?"

"Yes, that'd be great, darling."

As they walked, they came to a large crevice in the pavement. Eriol overstepped it, but the oblivious redhead stuck her heel right in the center of crack, tripping over on her face and breaking her shoe. "Wahhh! …Ow."

"Kaho! Daijobu?" He bent down to help her up.

"Yea, I'm—" She didn't finish her sentence as they heard a gang of guys snickering loudly behind her.

"Hey lady! Don't you think you're tall enough without those killer heels?" His gang laughed with him…hard. "I bet your lil bro can't even reach up to your face to give you a kissy-kiss and make your booboo all better." Uproarious laughter. "Shouldn't you be taking care of him, instead of the other way around?" Hysterical laughter.

"Shut up you punks!" she snapped. "Eriol, dear, could you help me up?" She was still on the ground, but when she turned around, Eriol wasn't standing there anymore. "Eriol?" Looking around, she spotted him helping Tomoyo Daidouji. "Eriol!"

"Huh? Yes?"

"Would you come help me, _please_?" she gritted through her teeth.

"Just a sec. I'm helping Daidouji-san here walk her new puppy."

"She doesn't need any help with her dog!"

"Uh, Hiiragizawa-kun, I'm fine now. I think you'd better get back to helping Mizuki-sensei…" Tomoyo said calmly, sweatdropping. "But thanks for helping me. It was foolish of me to wear rollerblades and walk the dog at the same time." She smiled sweetly.

"It's alright. I'm glad I could help. Are you sure that you don't need anymore help? Cause to tell you the truth, I'd rather help you than go back to help a raging storm," he half whispered.

She couldn't help but snicker. "I'm sure. Now go help someone who really needs help."

"Ok, see you around."

"See you. Oh wait, Sakura, Syaoran, and I are going out for ice cream tomorrow at one. Wanna come?"

"Sure, that'd be great. See you there."

"Bye." She skated off.

By the time Eriol had returned to Kaho, she had already gotten up, and now…she was throwing rocks at 'the punks.'

Eriol sweatdropped when he saw this…a grown woman throwing rocks at teenage boys. "Uh, Kaho, why don't we go now? I'm sure you've had a rough day."

"Wait just one more rock!" At that, she grabbed the biggest rock she could find and positioned it to throw.

"Kaho! Let's go and leave them alone!" He had to literally drag her away. "Just calm down!"

"Oh alright! You don't have to treat me like a baby!"

"Well you're acting like one!"

"Well it's all your fault! If you had just helped me at first, those punks wouldn't have gotten their laugh."

"I'm sorry, ok? They were just messing around. Let it go. You'll probably never see them again anyway."

"Fine. Let's just go to your house."

"Oh wait, could I just drop by my office? I need to drop something off for my boss."

"Ok, but be quick, k?"

"Don't worry the building's right there."

They entered a large corporate building and stepped into the elevator. They were due for the eighth floor, but it stopped at the sixth floor for an elderly lady to enter. She took one look at them and said, "She's too tall for you!"

"Lady, I—" Kaho began.

"This is our stop! Let's go, dear!" Eriol cut in.

-o-

Somehow, Eriol and Kaho had made it to his mansion an hour later.

"Finally!"

"Wait, shh! Do you hear something?" Eriol whispered, leaning against the door.

"What? It's probably Spinel and Nakuru."

"No, they went to visit Sakura. …I think someone might actually be robbing the house!" Conjuring up a baseball bat, Eriol slowly opened the door and peered into the hall. The two walked into the living room, leaving the door ajar. Suddenly, they saw someone dressed in black with a black ski mask carrying his television set.

"Hold it! Who are you?!" Eriol raised his bat, ready strike at any moment.

"I—uh—I…"

Eriol edged up to the thief and pulled off the mask. "You!" It was the same old lady from the elevator.

"Uhh…she's too tall for you!!" With that, she raced out of the house still holding the TV.

Eriol sweatdropped and dropped the bat. _Will it never end??_ he thought wearily.

Suddenly, he was snapped out of his thoughts by Kaho. "Eriol! You just let her run off with the TV set! Why didn't you clobber her?!"

"Are you insane? She's an old lady! I can't hit her! Besides, it doesn't matter, as long as we're safe. I could just get another TV or conjure one. So stop being so materialistic!"

"…I just wanted to watch TV."

"WE'RE HOME!" Nakuru shouted abruptly, back from Sakura's house.

"We're in here," Eriol called back.

"HI!" she cried energetically. "What's wrong? You look so down."

"We were just robbed."

"And they took the TV!" Kaho added.

"Oh! You could use mine in my room! It's a new plasma flat screen TV!"

"Really? Great, thanks! Let's go, Eriol." This time, she dragged him to the other room.

When they were gone, Spinel spoke. "Nakuru, I thought you didn't want anyone to touch your precious new TV. Why are you allowing them to use it when you don't even like Mizuki?"

She grinned wickedly. "Last night I cast a spell on it so that it'd only show stuff about how this lady is too old and tall for this boy on every channel! Or how someone is too tall; just something about tallness getting in the way." She giggled at her own scheme.

As Spinel wasn't exactly a fan of Kaho either, he replied, "Brilliant."

In Nakuru's room, Kaho was fiercely changing the channels. "What is this?! Every channel has something to do with tallness!!" As she flipped the channels, the TV spat out "Jack and the TALL Bean Stalk…the TALL tower of…this TALL totem poll…and now we have a special TV drama about how two lovers must struggle to stay together. Will they make it? The girl is about ten years older than the boy, and society seems to be against them. But in the end they will most certainly…fail!! AHAHA!"

"Alright, I think I've had enough of television for one day!" Kaho slammed her finger on the power button on the remote. "Eriol?" When she turned around, she found him staring at a picture of him and Tomoyo at the Penguin Park in fifth grade. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh nothing, just an old picture," he lied, putting it in Nakuru's drawer. _Why does she keep this here?_

TBC

A/N: How was that? I hope you had a good laugh. I know I did. Once again, this is just fun humor, so don't be mad if you're a Kaho fan. Now review plz! :D


	2. Kidnapped

Chapter 2: Kidnapped

"Kaho! Stop nagging me! We're starting to sound like an old married couple," Eriol said, tired of always 'following orders,' as he put it, and soothing her temper. "We're on the verge of couple's counseling, and I think you need some anger management."

"What! I don't need anger management! People just need to mind their own business. So what if I'm taller than you?!"

_And older…_"See! That's exactly what I mean! You get angry so easily. Every little thing ticks you off. And I don't want to go into couple's counseling, if that even exists. I mean it's not like we're married or anything. That would be a different story."

"So? We could make this work! Let's get married and go into marriage counseling."

"Do you realize how absurd you sounded? Why would anyone want to get married to go into counseling for a failing relationship?"

"Well you said you didn't want couple counseling, so there's marriage counseling! Besides, what are you trying to say? You don't like me anymore?!"

"Actually, I asked you to meet me here today because I…I want to break up with you."

"What?! Why?"

"I told you already, and I'm sorry it didn't work out. But you'll find someone new. Goodbye." He stood up and left the coffee shop without another word.

"You brought me to a coffee shop to dump me?! Ugh, you're just a worthless piece of meat!" she practically yelled to the entire place. By the time she stormed out, everyone in the vicinity was looking at her.

"Her temper is as fiery as her red hair," someone whispered.

.:.

Eriol walked away into the night, looking up at the sky and feeling the cool breeze. _Ah, now I don't have to worry so much about Kaho anymore. It's like a huge burden has been lifted. I wonder where life will take me next…hopefully to a calmer person._

Passing by Tomoyo's house, he smiled up at it. The curtains in her room were drawn, but the light inside imprinted her shadow against the curtains.

_She must be in her room. Wait a minute…how did I get here? This isn't the way I usually take to get home…? Oh well, better start heading home. But another minute of admiration wouldn't hurt, _he thought secretively as he stood to admire Tomoyo.

.:.

_Is that someone looking at me? _Tomoyo thought inside her room. She pulled aside her curtains and saw none other than Eriol…and she couldn't help but smile just a little wider than usual.

She opened the large window and stepped out onto her veranda. "Hiiragizawa-kun, what are you doing here?" she called out to him.

"Oh, just admiring some things," he answered a little mysteriously.

"Would you like to come in?"

"No thanks, I was just passing by. Ja, Daidouji-san."

"It's Tomoyo-san, Hiiragizawa-kun. Ja." She stepped back into the room and closed the curtains.

"And it's Eriol-kun," he said before walking away into the direction of home.

Behind her curtains, Tomoyo smiled as she heard his last comment. "Eriol-kun…"

-;-

Hiiragizawa Manor

"Hold on a sec, he just walked through the door," Nakuru said into the phone. "Eriol-sama, there's a kidnapper on the phone for you!" she said in an oddly cheery voice.

"What?" Eriol looked confusedly at the guardian with mixed messages…somehow kidnapper and a cheery voice didn't go together in his book.

"Oh, there's man who wants to talk to you. He said something about kidnapping someone or something…?"

Eriol sweatdropped. "…ok, just let me have the phone. Hello, this is Eriol Hiiragizawa. May I help you?"

A low, gruff and muffled voice answered. "Yes, in fact you may. If you ever want to see…" the kidnapper turned to ask his victim her name. "What's your name again? …oh. If you ever want to see Kaho Mizuki again, you will do as I say. I want a million dollars in cash in a brief case by sunset tomorrow—"

"That's nice, but I don't want to see Kaho Mizuki ever again, therefore I have no business with you. Goodbye."

"But…?" The phone line was dead.

"You and that Kaho lady broke up?" Nakuru asked, hearing that last bit of the conversation.

"Yea, I asked her to that café to break things off with her. Honestly, that woman needs a psychiatrist or something."

"I agree." Spinel flew into the room. "But Nakuru-san, did you say something about someone being kidnapped?"

"Oh it was a kidnapper on the phone. He kidnapped Kaho."

"He what?" Spinel asked, not believing he heard correctly.

"He kidnapped Kaho, and said if I ever wanted to see her again, I'd better give him a million dollars by sunset tomorrow. And well I don't want to see her, so I've got nothing to worry about."

At that Nakuru and Spinel both started cracking up. "Oh that's a good one. Here's this idiotic kidnapper kidnapping Mizuki-san and using her as leverage, but you don't even want her back and now HE's stuck with her!"

Eriol looked at his guardians laughing hysterically, and he couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "I suppose it is rather ridiculous."

-o-

Kidnapper's lair

"But…?" The kidnapper slammed the phone down and glared at Kaho. Her hands and legs were bound to a chair and she was gagged. "He doesn't want you…what kinda boyfriend do you have, lady?!"

"MmmMmm!"

"Alright, I'll ungag you, but you'd better not try anything funny." He roughly untied the cloth and yanked it out of her mouth. "So what's the deal? Got any other people I could blackmail?"

"He just broke up with me, so he's probably a little mad, but I know he still has feelings for me! Call him back! He'll come for me! Money's no object!"

"Fine, I'll give it another try, but first I'm going to gag you again just in case."

-o-

"Well that was a good laugh but wouldn't Mizuki-san be in trouble if you didn't rescue her?" Spinel asked, his levelheaded side kicking in.

"She'll be fine. It may even be some sort of desperate trick to get Eriol-sama back," Nakuru said.

"Yea, or the kidnapper would just set her free and find someone else to kidnap. After all, from the sound of his voice on the phone, I don't think he has too much patience, and he doesn't sound like the killer type," Eriol replied.

"You're right. Now let's have some late night snacks! I saved you a whole stash of sweets, Suppi-chan!"

"This is where I take my leave." Spinel flew away just as the phone rang again.

Eriol picked it up. "Moshi moshi. You again? I told you I don't want anything to do with Kaho Mizuki, and trust me, you wouldn't either. So I suggest you spare yourself some headaches and just set her free while you're still sane."

"…Is she that bad?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Well then…I guess I should just let her go…hey wait a minute! How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"Trust me, it's no trick. Just wait another hour, and you'll be begging her to leave."

"Yea well I'll take my chances, bub!" he returned hoarsely. "Now give me the money by sunset tomorrow or she's outta your life for good!" He slammed the phone down once again.

_Even if I did want to save her, how would I know where to give him the money? _Eriol chuckled. _Well good riddance I guess. _"Hey Nakuru-san, did you save me some of that brownie?"

-;-

Ice cream parlor

"Sorry I'm late. Some phone calls kept me," Eriol said to the three, being late for their ice cream gathering the next day. The ice cream parlor was one where you could choose any ice cream flavor and add any topping you'd like with an assortment of cones or just a cup.

"It's alright, Eriol-kun. Let's just get some ice cream," Tomoyo said with a smile.

Sakura and Syaoran went first, followed by Eriol and Tomoyo. "I think I'll have mint chocolate chip with Twix pieces, fudge, a banana, and a cherry on top in a cup," Tomoyo spoke smoothly.

"That sounds good. I think I'll have the same, except with cookies and cream ice cream instead," Eriol said.

The cashier looked at them and smiled. "So how long have you two been going out?"

They blushed. "Actually, we're just friends."

"Really? What a shame. You two look so cute together!"

They smiled nervously. "Thanks."

"My boyfriend and I started out like that too." She laughed and gave them a wink. "Well I'll just get those orders."

With tainted cheeks, the pair went back to sit with Sakura and Syaoran. "What was that lady saying to you guys?" Sakura asked curiously.

When they explained it, Sakura grinned while Syaoran frowned. "Oh my gosh! You two really ARE kawaii together! I can't believe I didn't notice 'til now!" Sakura gushed.

"What about that teacher, what's-her-face?" Syaoran spoke.

"Oh I broke up with her last night."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out, Eriol-kun," Tomoyo said.

"Well I'm glad it didn't. I still don't like her."

"Syaoran!" Sakura rebuked.

"Well I don't! I think even Hiiragizawa is better than her; it's that bad."

"But she's so nice."

"Not to be mean or anything, but Sakura-chan, I think you'd change your mind once you get to know her a little better," Eriol informed, remembering Kaho's temper. "Now why don't we switch to a more pleasant subject?"

"Oh sorry, Eriol-kun. We didn't mean to pry," Sakura apologized.

"It's alright, I just don't want to think about it anymore."

"Table 8, your orders are ready."

"I'll get them," Tomoyo offered.

"Let me help you." Eriol got up as well.

"Thanks."

As soon as the two were out of earshot, Sakura whispered to Syaoran. "We have to get them together!"

"We don't have to do anything. Besides, he just broke up with Mizuki."

"But—"

"Here they come." Eriol and Tomoyo walked back over with their ice cream sundaes.

"Thanks."

As the four ate and chatted, Sakura noticed how Eriol and Tomoyo played with each other and scooped at one another's ice creams. She nudged Syaoran and motioned for him to look at them. She gave a look saying 'See!' But he scowled and shook his head. In return, she nodded at him. Soon they were in their own world, making faces and gestures at each other until Eriol and Tomoyo turned to look them without them even knowing. Tomoyo gave Eriol the look that said 'KAWAII!' while he sweatdropped at the sight of the three.

"Um, Sakura-chan, Syaoran-kun, what are you two doing?" Tomoyo asked.

Their nonverbal bickering halted and the couple sweatdropped, smiling nervously. "Um, nothing. Are you guys done with your ice cream? Let's go!" Sakura tried to cover up.

"You guys go ahead; I'm getting some ice cream to go for Nakuru-san," Eriol said.

"I'll stay with you," Tomoyo said.

"Okay."

"Ok, bye guys, have fun."

"Bye."

"So what kind of ice cream are you getting for Nakuru-san?"

"Chocolate ice cream with every topping."

Tomoyo chuckled. "Yep, I think that's just her flavor."

As they exited the parlor, Eriol cell phone rang. "Hello? I told you I don't want her back! Please leave me alone before I turn you in!"

"Wait, please! Take her back! You were right, I don't want her either! Take her!"

_It's great to be right. Haha, _Eriol smirked. "Did it ever occur to you that you could just set her free?"

"I tried that, man. But she'll press charges unless you personally come and get her."

"Well then I guess that's your problem. You _did_ kidnap her."

"But I—"

"Goodbye."

 "Who was that, Eriol-kun?"

"Oh no one. Let's go, shall we?"

-x-

Kidnapper's lair

"But but…aww man!! He hung up on me again!" He glared angrily at Kaho. "Look lady, you'd better get outta here before I hurt you!"

"He's not coming??"

"What do you think?!"

"Fine! I'm gonna get him for this!" She stormed away.

"Phew. I thought she'd never," the kidnapper said to himself in relief. "Man, maybe I should kidnap men from now on…"

-x-

_How dare he not come for me?! I'll show him!_ Kaho thought furiously. She was so angry that she didn't even notice where she was going. Then suddenly, she heard a loud honking and turned to see two large truck head lights coming her way. And before she even had time to react, the two collided.

TBC

A/N: This wasn't that funny. Sorry, I'll try to do better in the next chappi. Humor intended. No offense to anyone. Review plz.


	3. Heaven and Hell

Chapter 3: Heaven and Hell

There was a loud shriek then a bang as a horrified truck driver stepped out of the vehicle and stared at the body before him. "M-miss? Miss, are you alright? It was an accident! I'm sorry!" Soon a crowd formed and children poked at the lifeless body.

Overlooking the entire scene was Kaho's spirit. _I'm dead? _She felt herself floating up. _But I'm going to heaven! Ha! Wait 'til Eriol finds out that he caused my death because he didn't come save me. _She hovered to the gates of heaven, where there was a desk beside it. Ignoring the desk, she tried opening the gates.

"Excuse me, who are you?" came a celestial attendant's voice from the desk.

She turned and stood in front of the desk. "Kaho Mizuki."

"Kaho Mizuki…hmm…you don't seem to be on the list. I'm sorry but I can't let you in. You must go the other way."

"What?! Why? The other way?"

"Yup." The attendant looked down and pressed a button. "Good day."

"Huh?" Just as the button was pressed, the floor beneath her let loose and she fell all the way down—way down. And of course her freakish shriek sounded again.

The attendant sighed. "Why must they always scream like that? One day I'll end up deaf because of them."

--

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" she continued to screech as she fell further and further down until her surroundings started turning red and hazy. Finally landing hard on her bottom on hard solid rocks, she slowly got up. "Where am I?"

"Are you _that_ stupid?" A little helper came out. (Guess you could call him the devil's advocate xD)

"But why am I here?"

"Well hello! You were rejected from heaven."

"So I'm stuck here?"

"Yep, along with all the other rejects."

"What other rejects?"

"Those right over there." He pointed over to his stated direction where a nasty group of rotting creatures stood.

"But how can I be one of them? I'm supposed to go to heaven!"

"That's what they all say, lady. Now get over there unless you wanna meet the boss."

"No! I will not! I'm going back to heaven!"

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!" She made some pathetic movements of jumping back up, waving her arms about above her.

"Alright, I don't have to deal with this, you're going to see Him."

"Him?"

"Yea Him." He called for a messenger to alert the boss of her coming. "Ok, now go."

"What if I don't want to go?"

"You're still going anyway." He shoved her into a dark, murky room.

"This is just a room."

"No it's not." He slammed the door shut and the 'room' began to rush downward. It seemed like she was screaming her lungs out that day.

The helpers went about their business until they heard loud crashes and angry shouts. In a flash, she was back and His voice rang out. "She can not stay here! She's even more evil than me! Get her outta here at once!"

"But where will she go?"

"I don't care. Send her back to heaven. Just as long as she's not here."

"Wait, don't I get a say in this?" Kaho piped up.

"NO!" With the press of a button, she was ejected way back up there.

Another scream of the lungs and she was back at the gates of heaven. "What are you doing here again?" the heavenly attendant asked.

"They thought I didn't deserve to stay, and that I belong in heaven," she lied shamelessly.

"Uh huh, I see," he replied sarcastically. "So you were kicked out of _down there_ and you dare to lie about it to me?"

"I'm not lying!" she snapped.

"Sure, I believe you," he taunted.

"I am not!! I'm not lying! I never lie! I'm an anti-lier!"

"Getting a little defensive aren't you?"

"But—I—well you see.."

"Well anyway, it doesn't matter. This has never happened before. Where will you go? You can't stay here."

"But where am I supposed to go then? You have to let me in!"

"No I don't."

"Yea you do!"

"No I don't."

"Yea you do!"

"No I don't!"

"YEA YOU DO!"

"Must we continue with this childish argument?"

"If I want to argue then I will." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Whatever. Hold on while I try to figure out what to do with you." He turned and spoke into a device. "Uh huh, uh huh. Ok. What? Must we? But—ok, I'll let her know."

"What is it?"

"We have no choice but to hold a _special_ conference. Wait here." He disappeared before she could say another word.

And so she sat. _Wow, I'm that special, huh? I caused a conference between heaven and hell…_

A strong voice broke her thoughts as it rang out around her. "Kaho Mizuki, you are…how should I say this? …you are a _special_ case, and we've decided to sentence—I mean grant you to eternal life." Then the voice mumbled, "so neither one of us will have to deal with you."

"I get to live again?"

"Yes, forever." There was a clap of thunder and she woke up gasping for breath in the hospital where her body was receiving treatment. "I'm alive…" She got up abruptly and went to make a phone call. "Hello, Eriol? Guess what? I went to heaven and hell and I met Him and I saw other dead people and I was sent back and forth and they let me live again." But the only thing that registered in Eriol's mind was that she sounded like a babbling maniac.

"Good for you…? I'm sorry but I can't talk right now, bye."

"Wow, guess he's that shocked and he needs to lie down."

Heaven

"We'll have to do something about that Kaho Mizuki. She cannot come back. Look at her record! She's horrible! We'll have to remember that one…put a warning note in the computer database."

"Yes Sir. It's done."

"Good."

A/N: What do you think? Heaven's gone high-tech. Haha. Well anyways this was meant as a little breather/chuckle. Everyone needs a break nowadays, so I hope you got one if you needed one. :D Now review plz!


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